Time for Coaching/ Consultant Mode
By the time acceptances roll in, your student is likely juggling a mix of emotions: excitement, stress, pride, and uncertainty. This is the time to step back and shift into a coaching/ consultant role with them. Encourage them to talk through their thoughts. Ask open-ended questions like:
- What do you like most about each school?
- Where can you picture yourself growing?
- What are your biggest concerns or hesitations?
The goal is to help them think out loud and work through their decision, rather than offering your opinion first. Listen more than you speak, and show that you trust their ability to make a smart decision with your support. Obviously, if you hear something that feels really off, or not accurate, challenge your student on it. This will help them further clarify their feelings, or reveal something they need to think about. For example, you may suspect that your student is considering one college because their boyfriend/ girlfriend wants to go there. That isn’t a deal breaker, but remind them that the reasons they might choose a school may not match their boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s reasons.
Clarifying Priorities
Before making the final choice or scheduling final campus visits, take a moment with them to define what really matters. Encourage your student to list their top five to seven priorities. These might include the big three of proposed major, size and distance from home. Your student may also care about campus vibe, while you may be thinking about value, safety, or return on investment. You’ll be using these priorities to create a simple decision making spreadsheet in the next step.
Spreadsheet 101
A spreadsheet is a powerful tool that can help your student make their final college choice. This isn’t rocket science, but it gives a straightforward side-by-side way to compare schools. Here’s how to build one together.
Step One: Create Categories
Across the top row of the spreadsheet, list each college your student is considering. Down the first column, create categories that align with your agreed-upon priorities. Those priorities include what was listed earlier, but may also include items such as costs, graduation rate, etc. Here’s a sample list of priorities:
- Total cost (after aid and scholarships)
- Academic strengths / major availability
- Housing options
- Distance from home
- Campus size and setting
- Career services / job placement rate
- Study abroad or internship programs
- Campus vibe or “fit”
- Clubs / activities / extracurriculars
- Graduation rate
Step Two: Score and Comment
For each category, assign a score (1–5, say) based on how well the college meets the criterion. You can also add short notes in another column to provide context. Here’s an example (apologies for the poor resolution):
I realize this seems very anal-retentive, and perhaps it is. On the other hand, it provides a place for feedback for you and your students on those features or elements you’ve agreed to. And even with all the cut and dry categories, you should still include the campus vibe or fit category for the intangibles. Their college choice should always take campus fit into account.
Step Three: Review Together
Once you’ve filled in the spreadsheet, take a step back and look at the big picture. Are there clear patterns? Does one school consistently rank higher in your student’s top categories? Are there any surprises?
Remember: this tool is not about creating a “winner.” It’s about helping your student make a choice that reflects their priorities, not just the obvious rankings or sticker prices.
Take a Final Look (or Visit)
If possible, visiting (or revisiting) the top contenders can help clarify things. Many colleges host admitted student days, which offer a different experience than standard tours—more opportunities to meet current students, attend classes, and get a feel for what life would really be like. And while on campus, remember to go “off-script,” visiting a campus coffee shop and talking to students who aren’t paid tour guides.
Encourage your student to trust their instincts during these visits. Sometimes a place just “feels right.” Other times, a visit might confirm that something’s off—and that’s valuable insight too.
Talk Through the Decision–Then Step Back
Once the spreadsheet is filled out, the visits are complete, and you’ve talked through pros and cons, the final decision rests with your student. It’s a major milestone—and a great chance to show that you trust their judgment.
Of course, you’re still part of the picture: you might be signing financial aid documents, helping coordinate move-in, or answering last-minute questions. But this choice is ultimately theirs. Celebrate that moment with them.
Final Thoughts
Your student is not just making a college choice: they’re stepping into young adulthood. Your role is not just to guide them through a decision, but to empower them to own it. By helping them organize their thinking, ask the right questions, and make values-based comparisons (with a spreadsheet, no less!), you’re giving them tools they’ll use for the rest of their lives.
Choosing a college is not about finding the “perfect” school. It’s about finding a good fit and making the most of the opportunities that follow. With your support, they’re already well on their way.