As your student makes their final preparations for college and new student orientation, don’t think for a minute that your work is done. In fact, this new phase of parenting is equally challenging. One way to ease into your new role is to be sure to connect with other parents during new student orientation.
Why Connect With Other Parents?
For one thing, you’re joining an important new club, and it helps to meet your fellow club members. More importantly, you and the other parents will share many new experiences. As I’ve mentioned several times on this site, it isn’t just students who are transitioning to college: you are, too.
Meeting other parents who are going through the same experience can provide invaluable emotional support. Social support from others in your situation can help you manage your stress and make this transition easier. You’ll also be able to share your concerns and excitement with others who know what you’re going through.
What Do They Know That You Don’t
Parents who already have a student in college can be great resources to those of us who are new. You might learn from them about campus resources you hadn’t considered, get tips on navigating financial aid, or hear about off-campus housing options. This is in addition to what you learn from official university channels. Other parents often have the “inside scoop,” and are happy to share it with you.
Hearing Different Perspectives
Every student experiences college differently. The same applies to their parents. As your student encounters challenges and obstacles, many of us want to rush in and fix the problem. We know that’s not the best thing to do, but “that’s my baby girl!” But we’re perfectly able to sit back and reflect when the same thing is happening to another student. Why not call in a lifeline of your new parent friends when you become concerned after a distressed phone call from your student? Their different perspective may give you the time to get your heart and head to arrive at a joint solution.
And if someone helps you in a time of stress, don’t forget to pay that forward. The wide range of perspectives and backgrounds we offer each other as the parents of college students benefits both us and our students. Further, the long term connections you make with other parents can be especially meaningful as you engage in events like parents’ weekends, graduations, and even post-college transitions.
How to Do It
Be sure to attend parent-specific events during orientation. Parent orientation sessions often include presentations on academics, financial aid, student life, student conduct and support systems on campus. The best colleges also engage parents in formal and informal conversation with other parents. So, be approachable, introduce yourself, and don’t be afraid to take the first step. At the same time, be open to sharing some of your concerns with other parents. Odds are, you won’t be alone.
Another good tip is sharing contact information. If you hit it off with other parents, don’t hesitate to exchange phone numbers or email addresses with them. You could create a group chat or email list, or absent that, just reach our informally. Once you’re back home, a simple “It was great to meet you” message can solidify the new connection.
I also encourage parents to join any parent groups offered by your student’s university. These groups become quite lively during times like midterm exams, or during fraternity and sorority pledging. They’re particularly valuable when parents post questions, thoughts and suggestions for other parents, so look for groups that offer more than simply one-way communication from the university to you.
And if you live near other parents or will be visiting campus at the same time, consider planning get-togethers. This can be especially helpful during move-in day or parents’ weekend.
Don’t Be The Strong Silent Type
Some parents are hesitant about reaching out to others during or after orientation. You might worry about appearing overly anxious or intrusive. Remember that most parents are feeling the same mix of emotions you are. By taking the initiative to connect, you’re likely helping others who are too shy to make the first move. You’re building your own new network just as your student is building theirs.
Never underestimate the value of connecting with other parents during orientation. These connections can provide emotional support, practical information, and a sense of community for you during a time of significant change.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Reach out, connect, and embrace the community of parents who are right there with you, ready to support each other through the ups and downs of the college years ahead.