Parents of new college students often worry about their student’s grades, specifically, if they might earn bad grades in college. While this is a possibility, there are many things parents focus on other than whether their student is earning bad grades. Having said that, how can parents of college students approach the topic of grades?
Do Grades Matter?
One question parents and students often ask is: do grades in the first year of college really matter? The answer is yes and also a little bit of no, according to Summer Before College. Your student should obviously be shooting for the best grades possible. But upper level course faculty understand that many students will need additional help as they start college. And sometimes, they earn poor grades in those early courses but still develop new skills in them. In this case, the grades aren’t the whole story for your student.
Graduate schools understand this, too. Students should also know that even with poor grades in the first year of college (trust me, I know!) that doesn’t mean they won’t get into graduate school. For one thing, your student is bound to perform better in subsequent courses. For another, graduate schools understand how tough the first year in college can be. Many almost expect a few low grades, but also expect that students will recover from those grades as they move through college. If your student can pull that off, a few bad grades won’t restrict their future options. That’s what happened to me.
I earned my only “D” during my second semester in college. And this came after I really knuckled down to perform better after a mediocre first semester. But as they say, “stuff happens,” and I didn’t pull it off, despite working harder. Fortunately, as I learned how to study and use my time more wisely, my grades went up. In fact, my GPA for my last two years of college was over 3.5; for the first two years, it was only a bit over 2.5.
How to Respond
What we hope parents won’t do is to completely fly off the handle when they see a grade report. You may want to do that, and I urge you to take a deep breath first. It’s also important that when students present their grades to you—and they might—that you don’t accept “I’ll work harder” as their only remedy. Sure, they’ll work harder, because most students in college work hard. But they also need to understand what really happened during the semester that resulted in the bad grade or grades. Was it a lack of preparation? Maybe it was a poor match between the professor and your student. It might also be a challenge of scheduling or of the rigor of other courses, especially if the other courses are in the major.
If the issue is poor preparation or skill development, there are several things they can do. For one thing, they can make use of those campus resource that colleges have to help them. These services are often woefully underutilized by students—until the end of the semester. Encourage your student to use them earlier. These services can also help them if their problem is a lack of motivation, or perhaps a feeling that they can’t “do college.” They student may also be taught new study and notetaking skills that can help them. Your student might also consider withdrawing from a course or courses before they earn bad grades in them. And if they do withdraw from a course, they always have the option of repeating it at another time or school. It’s a way of taking a temporary detour but still reaching the same destination.
Long Term
In any case, I encourage you and you student to take the long view. Help them plan out how they will recover after earning bad grades, and to take the mature view that as they develop new academic skills, their grades will improve. That also teaches them the resilience and grit they’ll need in college and beyond. Bad grades are a pain, but can push your student to challenge themselves in ways that make them grow.
Score!