I wrote earlier about succeeding in online classes, and how students can do their best using this platform. So if you find your student going to college while living at home, whether that’s by choice or because their campus is closed, you may be thinking: great! Now I can have them take care of their normal chores during the day. But before you go down that road, consider the following.
The Power of Routine
Students often thrive with routines. Having a normal waking time, habits to use at work, and study techniques that produce positive results are often what keep us successful and productive. Students should identify a static study space that’s used for nothing else. That’s ideal, but many students studying at home don’t have that. They especially don’t have that if they’ve returned from college in the middle of a term and find their old bedroom doesn’t work for them anymore. At the same time, they may have developed new patterns of studying, or may study at all hours of the night—when you would normally expect them to be asleep. This often drives parents crazy, but remember: it’s about what works for the student, not what fits your way of studying. Let them set a reasonable routine, and work with them to fit in your other expectations. That will help everyone.
The Need for Flexibility
When a student goes to college, his or her whole family goes to college. Yet only the student is facing significantly greater changes in their “work:” as family members, our jobs don’t change, nor do our expectations of our students. Having said that, I’d like to suggest that you shift those expectations. For example, say you prefer to have the lawn mowed on Thursdays, but your student has found that their assignments on Thursdays are much more time-consuming than on other days. You can keep your expectation that your student mow your lawn, but let them choose a better day for it.
For those students who were forced to come home from college, this will be even more challenging. Your student may get into a studying groove at 9:00 pm that lasts until 1:00 in the morning. You should feel free to ask them not to make noise at midnight. On the other hand, don’t force them to change study habits that work for them just so they have the same sleeping and working schedule that you do. I’d also urge that you don’t insist that they revert to their old responsibilities, like watching younger siblings at home. Here’s the thing: if those younger siblings managed to survive while your college student wasn’t around, why change that and cause undue conflict in the family?
Having a college student at home—versus a high school student—comes with new challenges for students and families alike. Developing understanding and good communication will help them succeed and reduce family drama, and who doesn’t want both of those things?