At the end of every academic term, students say they’re happy that term is over and they’re looking forward to a rest. This is healthy and makes perfect sense. Allow your student to disconnect from school and rest doing whatever they want to do (within reason) during breaks, both short and long.
Other students face the break still agonizing over the failures of the past semester. They can’t get it into their heads that the term is over and they have to leave it behind, for to dwell on the past doesn’t help with the future.
I’ve addressed the idea of taking incompletes in the past for students who need to let a course slide temporarily to focus on others. Withdrawing from courses may also be a good idea if there is just no way to salvage them by the end of the term. It’s an important tool to ensure students are on track and not overly stressed. But what do we say for students whose stress applies as much to the previous term as the current term? Many are so focused on the last term, that they don’t start the new term with the commitment and dedication they need to make things work for them. Every new term is the opportunity to make new things happen. Pearson offers five tips to students so they can approach their new term with renewed optimism and a plan for success. As a parent or family member, you can help your student understand that whatever happened during the previous term—however negative—is in the past. Even being placed on academic probation is more about how to get off probation in the new term, rather than what happened in the previous term. Their job is to work as hard as they can in a focused way on making the new term the best it can be. Yet younger adults often can’t compartmentalize that so well.
During times of stress, when you know your student is facing something they’re not ready to face, you can help them be kind to themselves. Students aren’t kind to themselves at all, telling themselves that if they don’t do such and such, the world will come to an end. Nope. Yes, there are consequences, yet few are catastrophic. And if something does happen they aren’t happy with, there is always a Plan B; something they can do to recover.
Help them find their Plan B, and help them be kinder to themselves. And most of all, tell them that every term, every day is a chance to move forward, not spin their wheels worrying about the past. They’ll be glad to hear those words of kindness from you.
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